a formal feeling comes--
The nerves sit ceremonious like tombs;
The stiff Heart questions--was it He that bore?
And yesterday--or centuries before?

The feet, mechanical, go round
A wooden way
Of ground, or air, or ought,
Regardless grown,
A quartz contentment, like a stone.

This is the hour of lead
Remembered if outlived,
As freezing persons recollect the snow--
First chill, then stupor, then the letting go.

Emily Dickinson
Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Journal entry tonight

January 26, 2010
I have no words today. I remember that feeling from last year this time - There are no words - There are not enough words. I began the day strong feeling ok and end it now feeling very weak and afraid. I remember you little one. I don't imagine I could ever forget that day you wriggled out of me cold and grey but still my baby - forever I love you, unknown - unrealized but never unloved.
A
Posted by at

Milos' 1st BIRTHday

Words are failing me today on Milos' 1st birth-day/death-day/forever-day... so I am posting the only pictures I have of my first son. We love you baby boy!

The incompetent paramedic, Milos and me.














Just Milos and me














Milos later at the horrible hospital aftermath.
Posted by at

Monday, January 18, 2010

1st Anniversary Visitors

Last year in those tumultuous weeks after we lost Milos I noticed (for the first time after living here for 3 winters) that we were being visited daily by a pair of Mourning Doves. Now, they have returned again to herald this week before his anniversary. Thank you sweet little birds for remembering him with your plaintive coo.

http://www.all-creatures.org/articles/ar-themourning.html
Posted by at
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)